亲密关系 Intimate Relationship

哪哪哪，看到题目不要想歪。我指的是友情。

我要讲一件事，我不知道是圣灵的提醒或者是自己的敏感。

最近，我和M的私讯比较频繁，我开始有一个声音/感觉提醒我要减少/停止这种接触。

前一阵子，我和L也是比较常私底下联络，我们还因为去参加会议等等住在同一个房间，然后我就开始也有这样的感觉，就是似乎太亲密了需要隔离一下。 我反思:
为何会有这样的反应，因为我也很害怕我会产生一些不应该有的感觉而破坏了我们的友情。

是因为我不习惯亲密的关系吗？

昨天我看了Sacred Vow，里面的丈夫因为没有和妻子时常保持亲密而忘了他对妻子的爱。我是不是因为不常有亲密关系而会感到不可思议/产生对抗的想法为了避免毁灭性的结局。我不确定。

初中一的时候，确实我和一个朋友的友情变成了我对她的情感依赖。后来，又因为这种不健康的亲密而导致我们冷战了1年，变成了普通朋友。我很伤心，一方面希望可以继续建立亲密的友情但是又觉得不晓得如何可以健康地发展。

我是不是又再一次面对这样的挑战？从喜欢的感觉变成了不健康的亲密？

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Nah, nah, nah, don't think wrongly about the topic, what I mean is intimate friendship.

I want to tell something, I do not know whether it's a prompting of the Holy Spirit or it's my own sensitivity.

Recently, I've been frequently personal messaging M and after a few days I hear a voice / feeling reminding me to reduce the frequency or stop this type of contact.

A while back, I also have a lot of personal contact with L, we even share a room because we attend the same conference. After a some time, I felt the same too, as if the relationship is too intimate and need distancing.

As I reflect:

Why would I have such a reaction? Probably is because I'm afraid it could develop into some inappropriate feelings and destroy our friendships.

Was it because I'm not used to intimate relationships?

I watched the movie Sacred Vow last night, the husband in the movie neglected the intimacy time with his wife and forgotten his love for her. So I thought, was it because I seldom have intimate relationships therefore I feel beyond comprehension or has developed a defensive thought to avoid a destructive ending? I'm not sure.

When I was studying form 1, I did have a good friend but I was emotionally dependent on her. Because of such unhealthy relationship, we ended up with 1 year of cold water, and become just friend. I feel sad about it. On one hand I hope we could continue to have this intimate friendship but on the other hand I do not know how to continue healthily.

Is this the same challenge coming back again? From the mere liking becomes unhealthy intimacy?

^^^***^^^

I pray to God, ask for His forgiveness for the broken relationship in form 1. To comfort the friend in God's own unique way. I'm happy that she is happily married and has a kid now. I hope she is not affected by the past we shared and has moved on healthily. Oh, God, help me to develop healthy intimate friendships as we all need to have close friends. May God oversees our development, let me be transparent and allow them to continue to walk together as close friends. As we all need healthy friendships to encourage us, to cheer us up, to journey together in life. In Jesus' name, Amen.