Blessings upon blessings

Since the decision of moving out, I've been troubled until 2 times of communication, things are settled down and my family is accepting my leaving though not approving it.

However, different opinions, different people, responded differently. On one hand facing the disapproval of people, on the other hand blessings from various people giving away their unused / used extra stuff to fill up the empty rented house.

Yesterday, a good family friend stopped by and chatted a while. She reminded this, 'Consult Jesus'. Deep down inside, I know this is the right thing to do but at the same time I have a negative emotion surfaced -- Anger -- "Oh, you're saying I didn't consult Jesus on my moving out?" "How do you know I didn't?", all the defensive words started playing in my mind. I had to control my emotion, and I can feel difficulty breathing (also due to mask wearing in a hot humid environment). After she left, I moved on to other activities. (Her kind words are blessings too although it doesn't seem to be at that moment but it does trigger me to think about this and pray and ask God to reveal the underlying issues I have deep within)

This morning, I woke up with a dream of reconciliation between 2 friend, a boy and a girl. The girl was agree at the boy and just wouldn't tell it properly to the boy. I was a teacher, guiding the 2 of them out of the classroom and asking the girl to say what is she angry about the boy directly to his face. The boy shed tears and I woke up in an uneased emotion. As if I was the little girl with anger. Seems like my anger issue is still not fully resolved despite many rounds of prayer for forgiveness & inner healing to break the unforgiveness. 

But blessings from all around is indeed felt throughout Advent (new word I learn). First is people sending gifts to fill up the house. Then the process of getting to know my housemate-to-be, who is so kind and accepting. Plus my cousin who is so hospitable, cooked instant noodles with lots of sides for me and my housemate, and even allowed us to visit their decluttering items to see if any we need. On top of it is the revelation of my anger issue. 

God is a God of love. He gives us His blessings even though we do not fully obey Him all the time. Indeed, He does not treat us badly because we're not good enough but is willing to walk with us, help us, use us, to show us our greatest value in His eyes. He is the gift that blessed everyone~