Friendship

First of all, I am weird. So, it is not a surprise to have weird friends.

There is one friend. You can guess in the end whether is he or she.

X is my friend. A weird friend. How weird is X? When I first met X, I notice X is very friendly, outspoken. I thought X would be pretty nice to befriend with but due to my fear of relationships, we never become friends until later. Another friend of mind always hang out with X and we met one night and that was a start of this @@ friendship. Everything seems well when we only meet at night once in a while to have dinner or supper.

We actually had some good time but over time, X's attitude caught some attention. Some of my friends advised me not to be too nice with X because X seems to be "using" me. I didn't care too much and didn't feel like X is "using" me.

Although some of my friends felt unfair for me but we still think that X would be a good companion for a trip together. During the trip, something happened. X is not sporty enough and that makes the whole trip sunk into a tension boycotting mess.

Immediately after the trip, we didn't talk about this but the whole group of friends seemed to have a mutual understanding that X is not a buddy to hang out with and slowly none of the events organised have X in the invitation list.

I don't know how to say this but I felt quite tired in between. I felt like why can't X give me a break? I think may be X didn't know X's problem and didn't change.

I don't want to care anymore. From now on, X is weird and let X have the X power continue to rule X's world but my world is going to come clean from X's power and territory. I will be very clear and very straight forward. If things just didn't work out between me and X, then I guess I have to sing Mariah Carey's hit song "Bye Bye" to X. I always use the word "c ya" to indicate that we will see each other again but to hear bye bye from me it's really hoping we will not meet again.

Anyway, I haven't figure out how to make this clear to X. I thought I could hope that X felt what we are doing to X and will ask me why and how but nothing from X. I think X is just ignorant about all we are doing.

I am weird, X is weird. We just am different in this weird world. I guess, I have my own friends and X deserver to have X's full stop.