Thursday, February 26, 2009

Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, and Black

A girl came for a job interview.
To test her English, Boss ask her to create sentences with the colour:
green, pink, yellow, blue, white, purple, and black.
She answered:
I hear phone 'GREEN GREEN', then i go and 'PINK' up the phone, and i say 'YELLOW BLUES' that?
'WHITE' did you say?
oh wrong number, don't PURPLELY' disturb people and don't call 'BLACK' okay?
Boss say: You can go black now and wait for the phone green green.

LOL!

Adapted from: http://utopiastaging.blogspot.com/2007/11/green-pink-yellow-blue-white-purple-and.html

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Kek Sim

For Malay speaking friends, please do not think this is some kinda cake that calls Sim. This is a Hokkien translation of Malay sakit hati or English heartache.

I feel so "kek sim" about someone. He is a friend but he has lost his faith. He resents God because of some unhappy events/incidents happened in the past. He cannot see the good side of God and enjoys his current life.

It is surely, none of my business to care about how he is living because we were not so called close friends. But he is a friend and I felt the responsibility to let him know that God is not what he thinks so. The unhappy events were caused by human beings that do not rely 100% of their lives on God.

Although, I am not relying myself 100% on God yet but I see the importance of achieving that and I felt so heart broken when I saw his face of dissappointment with God. Whenever I bring this topic up, he is more or less telling me that he is interested but with a boring face.

Well, I think, this is a common problem we all have. We said we love someone but when that someone doesn't respond to our love, we will no longer love him/her. We often choose to only love things that please us. What about events of sufferings that helped us to grow? In the process, we hate those events and we do not like to follow them. We bring more sufferings to ourselves.

My toe nails always grow into the flesh beside the nails and this caused huge uncomfortable until I cannot walk. To make sure I can feel comfortable, I had to use sharp edge scissors to cut out the nails which is a painful process but it is sure to bring peace after I do that. I think the life process is more or less similar. There are nails cutting into the flesh like all earthly events we go through everyday. We will not feel it until it is so deep into the flesh, we could feel the pain killing us. And then we cry out to God and ask Him why didn't He remove those events. Then, we felt greater pain because God is working to remove the nails. But instead of trusting God to cut the nails, we shouted, stop, I'd rather stay with the average pain then to break free from it. We just do not want to suffer greater pain which we do not know but will free us later.

Well, what Jesus said in the Bible is so true that sometimes the good has been revealed to us but we do not understand and know and foremost trust that it will lead us to freedom.

Remain in sin is comfortable because you have already used to the pain. To break free, we need faith and trust that God is always there throughout the process. Our sufferings will end with joy and peace one day. Til then, keep it on. Have faith and march on.

I hope one day, this friend that give me a heartache will see and realise how God is good and great to him and he will rely and love God again.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Grief

Over the news of "no increment this year until the month of June. We will review again. If you are better than ever, I would recommend an increment..."

Please do not ask any further about this. I just do not want to flood my bed with tears.

Thanks...

Couldn't believe that this is the ultimate conclusion of my "One on One" session. I'm improving over these few months after the last "Chatting" session.

I serve the Lord high above, not the man who sometimes break my heart. I will continue to believe His grace and love is sufficient to carry me through. I love you God. This is first time I boldly confess I love God. His Words will provide me positive thoughts and His law will lead me like the lamp in the dark.

Thank God for the bad feelings but I still know you are with me. I shall not fear for the circumstances but I know you have a perfect plan. Teach me your ways, show me you work that I shall follow you. Give me wisdom to know you and do your ways. Amen.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Holiday during CNY.

I'm going on Company Trip to HK from 30th Jan - 3rd Feb.
Staying here:
Hotel Accomodation
Hotel : Metropark Hotel Wanchai
Address : 41-49 Hennessy Road, Wanchai, Hong Kong
Tel : 852-2861 1166
Fax : 852-2865 6111

If you need to tell me something, pls sms, don't call. I'll find time to reply you =P

Well, if you want some souvenirs or need to pass something to someone in HK, I might be able to help you if you inform me earlier :)

Monday, January 12, 2009

Love me, love me not.

Sometimes, when you are not sure, you go for random decision but sometimes, you are sure, you just do not want to hurt others nor yourself but that is a hard decision. Either decision you make will hurt one side or the other.

If you tell a person, "I love you", the person may reject you or he/she may accepts you. Either way you are not to risk losing a best friend of life because after you say that line, you no longer keep your friendship the way it was if the situation is not controlled with wisdom.

So, our mind tends to fight for the best way to go for. Whether to risk our friendship or to let ourselves be in the comfortable situation and make no steps forward.

Even though I'm a bit able to fight off some evil thoughts with the Truth, I'm still only at level 1 or 2 -- Rookie level. I still need to pursue a higher level in order to know how to make a wise decision and how to handle the emotional imbalance of making either good/bad decisions.

Sometimes, I just do not know what to consider when making a decision... why have I become like that? I used to know how to make decision? But do I or I just follow my feelings at that time of decision and used to get mad when things get in my way? I think I'm the later one.

This journey is not easy into transformation. My mind goes blank when I need to think of how and why. I can only work on what to do next. And by saying next I mean next minute or second. I can't plan for the next day, week or month before the actually time hits. No wonder my time management is so poor.

I can't even remember what to write after a few minutes later (I've been trying to write a new post since last week, but couldn't remember after something happen in between which distracted my thoughts).

I hope my friends would not give up hope on me. I will continue to improve and with God's help, I believe, I can be better.

The second weekend of 2009 has past and I've also realized the true friends in life. I love you, my true friends.

May be I should flashback on 2008 and see what I've done right and wrong and what I can give thanks and areas that I should improve. Erm... may be later tonight I'll draft it out.

^*^

=)

Hasta la vista

Saturday, January 03, 2009

New Year - New Me

My last picture taken in year 2008:


The New Look:


I hope to generate a new appearance as well as practice to live in God by FAITH to allow Him to renew my spirit!

Thursday, January 01, 2009

A New Beginning

When I typed the title for this post, I wonder, how can we have a new beginning? Haven't we all started with our life ever since we catch our first breath in the womb?

Today, I went shopping. I bought quite a lot of things and surprisingly today was a pleasant shopping day with my headache, not enough sleep and frustrated about things that people did not do as I expected them to do.

It was a day that I did not shout and make the shopping worse but I kept my voice low to just inform them about my feelings and keep quite for the rest of the shopping.

When we reach home, after 2 hours of rest and tv watching, we discovered that the skirt that I bought is more than RM 100!!! (If I'm drinking, I would really spilled!) I never thought I would spend so much for a skirt!

Well, I guess you all will have a new me in the coming days of this year. At the very least, a new appearance.

Hope to see you soon.

Adios, Amigos.

Gotta get some sleep, need to wake up early for work tomorrow =)

Good Night and Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Good Morning 2009, Good Night 2008!

My last post for 2008, concluding the year.

I attended the last cell group meeting of the year, here's some photographs (to prove I did attend... hehehe, haven't been faithful to attend CG, sorry, guys.): CG Christmas gathering photographs.

I thank God for the days He provided and took care of me throughout 2008.

I specially thank God for 2 spiritual ladies who have supported me throughout the year, pulling the strings to keep me from falling down.

I thank God for CG members (and my brother, also one of the CG member) who kept me in prayer and always welcome me back to CG.

I thank God for people he brought into my life, smiling events, touching moments, sad times, and His abundant grace.

This year an old lady left us to be with God. She is not that close with me but I don't even have a picture of her to remember her. She left on Christmas morning in pain (heart attack). It wasn't so sad about it but I know we are not going to expect a nice little grandma giving us ang pao for the year. My dad always driver her to church, she was my dad's cell member. We had some good times enjoying the gentleness of ama -- that's how we call her. But now, we have to learn how to give her gentleness to others because she left us with a warmth in our heart to care to share.

Well, many people left and be with the Lord this year but we never forget what they left behind for us to enjoy and remember. May be it's time to review again and to think about ourselves -- what do we want people to remember about us when we die?

I guess I couldn't finish the book "Victory over the darkness" this year, but I will try my very best to practise what I have learned from the book in 2009. Hoping to see a change in me through God.

To declare my identity:
I am a child of God. I am loved and given eternal life by God.

I believe and have faith in God.

Thank you Jesus Christ for His sacrifice. Now I appreciate everytime I can end my prayer with "In Jesus Name". It is by His name my prayers are answered. It is in His name my life was restored.

May the love of Jesus Christ brings you and me, peace and joy.

Happy New Year 2009!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Sober

Staying sober is the hardest thing for a strong addict.

When you quit from something, you stay sober and as long as you can get use to sober, you can get off with the addiction.

It felt so good to deepen into the lies of the devil but I realise it is not freedom but bondage. A "temporary pleasant" bondage. I'll have to stay sober and keep it up. Until now, I still can't get myself out of the shadow of the devil's claw. I see where I am but I'm not going out of where I am.

I want to get out and break free. No matter how hard it could be. I should and will, this time, get myself over and do not stop when it's so hard and difficult to fight and resist. For I am not alone. The key figure of Christmas -- Jesus Christ is with me and He will always be there for me. I just need to trust and jump over the gap.

My greatest fear when I was small is to jump over a drain. Even though I know the gap of the drain is not too wide for my legs to get across, I'm just not able to bear the thought of falling into the drain. Even until now, I still hesitate every time I need to cross one. But I still cross all the drains without falling into one, should I be gaining enough courage to get over the next one? I guess not. But every time I will step out in faith the cross the gap for I know He is with me, I shall have no doubts. Even if I fall, he is by my side. How far do I still want to keep Him away from my business? Soon, I will learn how to take baby steps to stand and be still.

So, Christmas has been meaningful for me. How about you? May be you should give Jesus Christ a chance to renew and change your life. For I have found the true Prince of Peace and I have decided to resist the lies of the devil.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Isa 30:15

Isaiah 30:15 (New International Version)



 15 This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
       "In repentance and rest is your salvation,
       in quietness and trust is your strength,
       but you would have none of it.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Exposure is no good.

I saw this when I browse through the recent updates in Live Home, "silly..dun destroy my name!"

I've used that person's name on my blog before... I thought to myself, did I misused the name? So, I put my post on draft, hopefully not cache by google yet...

Knowing too much is sometimes not so good. I'd rather know what I need to know and what I am allowed to know... I shall stop worry about these little things. Waste my time!

So, who cares if I did something wrong? I have done it, tell me and I will change. Thank you.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Diary #20081209

Last Thursday, I had a chat with Angel on Live Messenger. She concluded as follows:

jing ling ; angel: ur this attitude of thinking dat u can't when you can fight ur 'temptations'
jing ling ; angel: u kept thinking n doubting...
jing ling ; angel: because of dat..u allowed the devil a chance to enter easily

Today, a few days later, I had to admit that she was right. Many incidents happened just these few days allowed me to conclude that she was right. I struggled to accept the fact.

It was a few dreams...
One night, Andrew Chan came to our place. He did some foot massage and told me I have a lot of dreams at night during sleep. I told him it was normal to have dreams, wasn't it? Few weeks later, 2 nights ago, I had a dream about Wen. It was a bad dream. The worst I've ever had in my lifetime. A dream about me hurting Wen and I regretted and felt sorry about what I did in the dream. Then, in the afternoon the next day, I had a dream about a prostitute mother and a handicapped son. She earn by being a prostitute to raise her son. I felt sorry for her. I wish I could help her. The third one was last night. I couldn't remember the content of the dream but it was something sad and helpless.

The third dream was after I told Wen about the first and second dream. Her angry face is still so vividly shown in my head. I guess the third dream was me trying to get off the sadness.

If I kept thinking like Angel said, I will start to doubt and start to disbelief and then the evil thoughts will embrace me til I cannot breath. I can let it go and let it not harm me anymore. At first, I thought I can ignore the them and think positively but ignoring is not the final shot to end the problem. I need something better. I need God. I need the righteous one to save me from this.

I can fight the 'temptations' with God who gives me strength and He will win the battle for me.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Diary #20081207

I couldn't hold on to the truth. My sister found the "Glucovance" medication prescribed by the doctor last night. I denied it's mine. Later this afternoon, I told my mom and my sister...

My mom started her "nagging" and adviced me not to eat this and that and should eat what and what. Before she went for her nap and after we read my previous blood test report (taken on 19 Aug 2006), she said this, "I think you need to change your job. Your work now is highly affecting your health!"


May be my work does the trigger to my diabetic DNA.. It came from my dad and I knew it for long. It wasn't a surprise but I'm just not use to a sudden change of my diet.

May be it takes a while to adapt to this new change of lifestyle...

Angel once told me I had to have an attitude change... what change do I need to make? I still don't get it. Perhaps the lifestyle change has to first start with the attitude change.

Well, my mother couldn't believe it. I was advised to do another check up to confirm the symptoms like ants on my urine is proven to be high glucose. Hopefully I can do it real soon. I mean real soon.

Diary #20081206

I felt so guilty looking at the open fridge. I dare not take any food I like even though I was hungry. Still accumulating courage to tell my parents the bad news about my glucose test...

Friday, December 05, 2008

Family History + Loss Weight [+ Lost Ants in toilet]

Confirmed diagnosis:

Glucose (Fasting) 17.2 MMOL/L (Normal: <6.1) = Diabetic

I accepted the medication for 30 days and second visit to evaluate the medication effect after 25 days (30 Dec 2008) - Hopefully good news before new year... I shall listen and do exactly as the doctor advised..

Way later only go for extra check ups on Kidney lar, eyes lar.. depending on the second visit blood test results.

Bless me.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

17.8

Does these numbers mean anything to you?

When the doctor saw the numbers, she was overwhelmed. Immediately, she double confirm with the nurse to see if the little device is new. She wasn't sure what she was reading is correct or not.

17.8 is displayed on the screen of that small little glucose test device. My friend who went in before me only had 8.8, which is already considered high. My reading shocked the doctor for a while.

She explained to me how important to take the lab test for accuracy. I told her I will go to my relative's lab to do the test meanwhile I let her pull more blood for lab glucose test. I will go back and collect my report tomorrow. Hopefully, it was just a joke... hahahah.. It will not be and I'll need to adjust my life again..

17.8 - Does it mean anything to you?

Monday, December 01, 2008

Words : More than words.

I admit that I do enjoy blogs with photos/pictures. They look more interesting and lively.

I do not have such passion to grab every opportunity to take pictures/photos. I just love to write.

I had a very busy Friday night, Saturday and Sunday. My church is celebrating 110th anniversary and 30th mission conference. I was glad to be there throughout the process. But in my mind, the work that is left incomplete let me to think that I do not have a good testimony. I simply did not do good to others by what I did.

My church theme this year is "One World One Vision". Beyond words. More than words. It's a picture to begin with. That's how beautiful our eyes were created to be able to see things that's beyond our understandings.

It is also easier to understand through pictures.

On Saturday night, I was not able to sustain throughout the sermon because it was too tiring after a whole day of physical activities during the children mission conference. We were blessed to have a good weather when we started the opening ceremony. The rain from Friday night stopped right on time. Although my team did not win any prizes but I felt the children and I know they need the gospel very much. These blessed children should be a blessing to others with what they have instead they are now abusing what they own and fear much to give/share their love with others.

How unfortunate the children who have nothing but the streets as their bed and the rubbish as their food. How fortunate we are to have a lovely house, nice clothes, good shoes, nutritious meals. I felt ashamed that I did not do my best to help those in need instead I'm abusing what I have. Sometimes, I overeat, other times, I over sleep. Therefore, on Sunday morning when we did our pledge for next year's mission fund, I dare not keep an account for myself because for what I have is what God gave. I do not and is not capable of getting all my labour worth a cent/penny if it was not God's grace.

May be you will say I'm too religious but I truly believe that God has put more that what I've asked for in my life. How little can I pay back with that little pledge card. I just hope I could help more.

On Sunday, the speaker, Dr. John Chang was a funny man. I like his voice, his tone is just nice to be heard. His attention to environment was great as well. He is the only speaker who speaks and look around to seek attention from everyone. He is very polite. He preached about team building and I think he is a great person in team building. He do things in humorous way so that people can accept his suggestion and change. He also reminded me that I am no longer a good team player.

Later that evening, my church celebrated our anniversary in a restaurant. The dishes were great except for the second dish that consists of 5 different small portions of food. Overall, I like the celebration. Especially, it was so soothing to have all brothers and sisters in Christ sitting over the table to enjoy the nice food together. The choir and praise and worship were great and amazing! They sang like angels from Heaven. I was touched by the lyrics. It says, "I will honor him in every choice I make". Have I honor God in every choice that I make?

How I hope, my thoughts, my words and my actions honor Him in every way that I can.

Why I sinned? Partly because I am not at the right place doing what I am suppose to do. Slowly, I was tempted and committed sin.

Dear Lord, help me to live a life that honors you in every way I can. Strengthen me to do the right thing. Give me spiritual wisdom so that I make right choice that glorifies your name. For what I can do is by your grace. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen.

I dedicated my heart to the Lord of the universe that is above all. Shall I bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit and walk the only bright and victorious path to seek His face.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Tired and exhausted.

If you read me from here. You'd probably see that I've been updating things about myself and many unhappy things.

I have never ever felt so tired before. How tired? Have you ever tried to drive with eyes open but sleeping? That's how tired I felt. I have to drive but I need to sleep.

I was so angry recently. I unistalled my Firefox and Live Messenger... but in the end I had to re-install them back because I need to use them in case for work.

I'm sleep working, sleep after I past motion before I flush.. you know how disgusting to sleep in the smelly toilet? I can even sleep with that smell.. oh, I think I really need to get some more sleep.

So, can I be late for work? Nope.
So, can I take emergency leave? Probably.
So, can I go and see doctor to ask for MC? Depends whether the doctor leng chai or not lor.. hehehe

I'm really very tired and exhausted. I just do not want to let others down. Please allow me to have more strength to move on.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Diary #20081122

I had a bad afternoon. So bad that I couldn't laugh in the cinema watching Madagascar 2. I've even worsen the situation by bringing this negative emotions into the group of people I'm hanging out with.

It was a sunny day, we went to eat seafood noodles at Segambut. It was a great lunch until we came back from lunch. I was listening to streaming audio and pop-up the lyrics. My supervisor passed by my desk and saw the second monitor (I'm using a laptop and an additional monitor) was showing the streaming audio. Later, I received an email pointing out that I'm using the second monitor for entertainment. Yes, I did and I also use it for my work. It was, to me, an accusation of me not being at work with 2 monitors but entertaining myself with the extra resources the company allow me to use. Well, I felt very bitter about this and this is not the first time I felt it but this time is the worst one until now.

I read the Prime Time with God that says this:


Check Your Armor
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman
11-21-2008

"That is why the Israelites cannot stand against their enemies.... (Joshua 7:12).
Battle commanders want to know the vulnerabilities of their enemies. Companies want to know the vulnerabilities of their competition. We also need to know our spiritual vulnerability.

This is the message God told Joshua when he attempted to go against a small army at Ai, which was the Israelites' second battle in the Promised Land. Sometimes we try to figure out why we are not successful in an endeavor from the natural only. We look at all aspects of our performance to see what went wrong. Perhaps our strategy was flawed or our timing was off or our pricing was wrong. For the people of Israel, it was not easily seen on the surface. Everything seemed just as it should be from Joshua's vantage point, so when his army was soundly defeated, he cried out to God, "Ah, Sovereign Lord, why did You ever bring this people across the Jordan to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us?" (Josh. 7:7a).

The people had been defeated because God could not bless them. One person had violated the covenant with God. They were not to take any possessions from the first battle, but one person failed to be obedient and the whole army suffered.

Sin makes our armor vulnerable to attack from Satan, who then gains permission from God to attack us in the area where we have failed to uphold righteousness. If we break down in moral purity, Satan comes in and establishes a stronghold. If we give place to bitterness and unwillingness to forgive, we will break fellowship with God and others. If we become money-focused, we will fall into greed and deception. It is a vicious cycle.

Examine your armor today. Make sure you are not susceptible to attack. Begin from a solid spiritual foundation and your chances of success will be great.

There, the words highlighted in purple really pointed out my soul status. I am giving place to bitterness and unwillingness to forgive. That caused me to break my fellowship with God and others. The bitterness kept growing like a snow ball. It just roll and roll into bigger and bigger snow ball. My armor is weak, they could not defeat the attack.

It was not anyone else's fault but my own stronghold that keeps pulling me down into a deep dark hole.

Oh, God, could you come and spare my life?

While I was watching Madagascar yesterday night, I watch without laughter but tears. It just came rolling out of my eyes. I am not a person who can easily cry but the tears just came out of it... it was my first time, pouring tears secretly in the cinema... I can't help it. I need to release them out...

Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strenght. These words just came into my heart. He who loves me never leave me nor forsake me; for we love, is because He first Loved us.

May God bless you, my readers.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Regular Expression Validation for Email Address

Method 1: \w+([-+.]\w+)*@\w+([-.]\w+)*\.\w+([-.]\w+)*
Method 2 (cannot recognise in SharePoint): \w+((-\w+)|(\.\w+)|(\_\w+))*\@[A-Za-z0-9]+((\.|-)[A-Za-z0-9]+)*\.[A-Za-z]{2,5}

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  • - “他知道我行的路, 他试炼我之后,我必如精金” 约伯记 廿三 1 上帝藉着痛苦给我喜乐, 痛苦损失锻炼我心志; 无论日子黑暗或光明, 我知道天父必会引领。 永活的上帝可以除去生活中的惧怕。
    16 years ago
  • Feel complicated while heading to new year .. - People usually feel very happy before new year, but I am not the same. I use to look forward this festival, but now really worry before the day is coming.....
    16 years ago
  • - I so wanted to create with the beautiful stamp that Suzanne, at Quietfire Designs so generously sent me. Oh well, I can't explain the lack of creativity I'...
    17 years ago