Diary #20081122

I had a bad afternoon. So bad that I couldn't laugh in the cinema watching Madagascar 2. I've even worsen the situation by bringing this negative emotions into the group of people I'm hanging out with.

It was a sunny day, we went to eat seafood noodles at Segambut. It was a great lunch until we came back from lunch. I was listening to streaming audio and pop-up the lyrics. My supervisor passed by my desk and saw the second monitor (I'm using a laptop and an additional monitor) was showing the streaming audio. Later, I received an email pointing out that I'm using the second monitor for entertainment. Yes, I did and I also use it for my work. It was, to me, an accusation of me not being at work with 2 monitors but entertaining myself with the extra resources the company allow me to use. Well, I felt very bitter about this and this is not the first time I felt it but this time is the worst one until now.

I read the Prime Time with God that says this:

Check Your Armor
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman
11-21-2008

"That is why the Israelites cannot stand against their enemies.... (Joshua 7:12).
Battle commanders want to know the vulnerabilities of their enemies. Companies want to know the vulnerabilities of their competition. We also need to know our spiritual vulnerability.

This is the message God told Joshua when he attempted to go against a small army at Ai, which was the Israelites' second battle in the Promised Land. Sometimes we try to figure out why we are not successful in an endeavor from the natural only. We look at all aspects of our performance to see what went wrong. Perhaps our strategy was flawed or our timing was off or our pricing was wrong. For the people of Israel, it was not easily seen on the surface. Everything seemed just as it should be from Joshua's vantage point, so when his army was soundly defeated, he cried out to God, "Ah, Sovereign Lord, why did You ever bring this people across the Jordan to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us?" (Josh. 7:7a).

The people had been defeated because God could not bless them. One person had violated the covenant with God. They were not to take any possessions from the first battle, but one person failed to be obedient and the whole army suffered.

Sin makes our armor vulnerable to attack from Satan, who then gains permission from God to attack us in the area where we have failed to uphold righteousness. If we break down in moral purity, Satan comes in and establishes a stronghold. If we give place to bitterness and unwillingness to forgive, we will break fellowship with God and others. If we become money-focused, we will fall into greed and deception. It is a vicious cycle.

Examine your armor today. Make sure you are not susceptible to attack. Begin from a solid spiritual foundation and your chances of success will be great.

There, the words highlighted in purple really pointed out my soul status. I am giving place to bitterness and unwillingness to forgive. That caused me to break my fellowship with God and others. The bitterness kept growing like a snow ball. It just roll and roll into bigger and bigger snow ball. My armor is weak, they could not defeat the attack.

It was not anyone else's fault but my own stronghold that keeps pulling me down into a deep dark hole.

Oh, God, could you come and spare my life?

While I was watching Madagascar yesterday night, I watch without laughter but tears. It just came rolling out of my eyes. I am not a person who can easily cry but the tears just came out of it... it was my first time, pouring tears secretly in the cinema... I can't help it. I need to release them out...

Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strenght. These words just came into my heart. He who loves me never leave me nor forsake me; for we love, is because He first Loved us.

May God bless you, my readers.

Regular Expression Validation for Email Address

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Method 2 (cannot recognise in SharePoint): \w+((-\w+)|(\.\w+)|(\_\w+))*\@[A-Za-z0-9]+((\.|-)[A-Za-z0-9]+)*\.[A-Za-z]{2,5}

Backup Database with T-SQL

Method 1:
SQL Script generated from SQL Server Management Studio (Scripting Style for SQL Server 2000)
BACKUP DATABASE [DATABASENAME] TO DISK = N'D:\MSSQL\MSSQL\BACKUP\DBBACKUPSET_20081120' WITH NOFORMAT, NOINIT, NAME = N'Full Database Backup', SKIP, NOREWIND, NOUNLOAD, STATS = 10
GO

Diary #20081115

I'm feeling very bad... negative... every words from their mouth hurts. It's so hurting. Like I'm never good at anything...

During Secondary School, I play sports. Sports is the only area I was treated fairly. Although I am not the best one but I am confident in what I do.

Now if you ask me, I felt discriminated among those who are late to work...

My life has been dedicated to the job and yet I was said to be lazy, not hardworking... it bores down to may be I'm just too slow to come out with a good job. They've been saying, no need to worry about details but people like our clients actually is asking why this person has no title during the testing stage. People are so looking for details and I'm not suppose to focus too much on details.

I will try. And I will do as you said to neglect the details.

I need a break and a shoulder. I need my bed at home and I need the bolster I've long for. I need a pillow and some great nights of sleep.

I've just sold my soul to the company by working no day no night including weekends and holidays! How I wish I can just let it go....

Let it go... relax... let it go...

Diary #20081106

I do not know exactly what happen to my body system. I'm experimenting my urine to prove that I have or not diabetes symptoms like sweet urine.

I do not know the ants did lost their way or am I just worry too much. Slowly, I will have to cut down on desserts and every single sweet things. At least try not to attempt to eat them.

And my lifestyle.. working until this time, I cannot imagine how long I can survive in this situation. How I hope today's meeting in the morning is just a way out for me to loosen up my responsibility. May be if I did not suspect my health problems I would not reacted that way.

The meeting was to discuss why I did not perform as expected and did not complete my tasks on time as I've promised. I gave excuses that is not accepted. I have accepted their suggestion to change. I hope I do not disappoint others but how many expectations can I cope?

I have been suspecting my "diabetic symptoms". It happens after my weight loss, then hair fall, then low appetite and now hunger. It was all medical symptoms or was I just think too much when such things happened? Even recurring vaginal yeast infection has added on to my list of symptoms to be suspected.

I think it is time to get some real blood test. If there is only a quicker method to confirm my "symptoms", I would like to try it out. May be I can get some blood sugar tester from the pharmacy nearby my office.

So, how shall I face it? Calmly? Aggressively? Ignorantly? I do not know. Just like when I saw the ants, my mind is blank for a second or two.

So, what about my birthday tomorrow? Shall I celebrate with the news? Can I be happy with it? It is not deadly but controllable with proper medication and diets and lifestyle adjustment. So, would I be able to handle it? Do it? Make it?

Don't think too much, Michelle. You just do what ever is necessary to accept the fact and to slow down the symptoms. Everybody deserves death, it is a matter of shorter life span or longer only. But that is not the most important thing. The most important thing is what would people write on your tomb stone when you die.

So, Michelle, can you promise me to look at this positively? I love you so much, please promise me you will face it and conquer it.

Diary #20081105

Today, I was awaken by my roommate because she needed a lift to the LRT station due to sudden heavy rain.

Then, I went back home. I was tired and after my toilet trip, I went back to sleep. When I woke up, I wanted to take a bath. When I was in the bathroom, something amazing shocked me!

There were some ants who lost their way and went into the toilet bowl! I checked the toilet bowl. Ah! I forgot to flush after the toilet trip. Hmm... I think they just lost their way... will try again tomorrow to see if they lost their way or I did something to attract them there... hahaha... lost ants

Diary #20081103

This morning when I woke up, again, I felt my left hand middle finger, index finger and thumb is numb.

May be, I said may be, it is a diabetes symptom...

Diary #20081031

Stress is a very daring substance. It makes me feel uneasy the whole day...

I think I'm experiencing eating disorder... yet to call it Bulimia nervosa. And am having anxiety disorder which also yet to be called Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD).

I want to do my best in all areas but I can't make all things at their best. At least, I have to sacrifice one of them...

I was having 3 nights of troubled sleeping and excessively eating my dinner + supper. I woke up during sleep to go to toilet at least 2 times per night. I needed some rest... a longer rest than just a day of holiday.

I need to leave the place I'm in now and find a new living mind. My brain is getting old, it doesn't function like I know it used to be.

Diary #20081028

My colleague, Catherine, told me that my blog is not so interesting for her because I do not write down my daily life. Well, I think this is my daily life as a blogger, telling people what is interesting in life that I found online or whatever is inside my heart. But, today I'd like to write something more descriptive (sorry, if I couldn't be more descriptive) about my day.

This morning, I couldn't wake up because I watch late drama (on the TV) last night until 1am. I spent some time on my bed trying to sleep before I really do. This morning, as usual, I had to send my brother to school early (do I sound a bit reluctant? ya.. I do). So, it was 6.30am when my brother came and knock on my door. After dropping him off to school, I received a call on my way back to my place in PJ. I couldn't answer the phone because the battery is low. I quickly unpack my things from the car to get a phone charger. I called back my friend. She said she had a migraine and would like to me bring her to doctor. I told her I had to take a bath first. So, after taking bath, around 8am, I left the house.

I reach her place, pick her up and drove the Mediveron Clinic. Today is just after Deepavali Holiday and so many people is sick at the clinic. We waited for 45 mins until the nurse called out my friend's name. After examination, doctor said she is pretty fine, just her body is too heaty that causes the migraine. After the examination, we were sent out from the room to wait for the medicine. I think her company is good in the sense that her medical bills are paid for. After taking the medication, we went to my car. I was blocked by a MyVii. This is my first time, pushing the honk button in my car to alarm the car owner to remove the car. It wasn't long after my second honk, an Indian lady came out from the clinic (this is another clinic on the opposite side of the road) and reverse her car for me to go out.

We went to a nearby shop for some breakfast. After I parked my car and took my laptop with me, we walked into a shop with many smaller stalls. I put my laptop beside my leg under the table. Then we talked about food. She said she would order for me and then insisted to pay for the food as a return favor for my time to send her to clinic for check up. I said it wasn't that troublesome. When we finish eating, we left the table to another stall in front of the shop for some cakes and cookies. When we return to our car, a person came by and told me that I left my bag. Oh! I cried in my heart. I think I did shouted out as well but I couldn't remember. Thank God for that uncle who came by and tell me. I quickly ran back to the shop. But I found no bag! The chicken rice stall aunty was kind, she told it was at the counter. I went to the counter and told the aunty there I want my bag. She ask me where I was sitting. I told her I was sitting in front of the chicken rice stall and she said ok, here is your bag. Phew~ the aunty was trying to verify if I'm the owner of the bag. Thank God she did that. Although at that point of time I was so worried I couldn't get back my bag and was annoyed by her questioning me.

It was my first time, leaving something so important behind. I think it is because I didn't have enough sleep yesterday night and due to a whole day of physical activities (I helped my parents to paint our apartment that was waiting to be rented and washed my neglected 2-month didn't wash car). Tonight I think I have to rest properly. But before that, I have to finish my work of the day.

Til then, Adios amigos~

Eye-Opener Clock?

[Gun O'Clock guns for a showdown]

Relationship #2

I've been thinking about this topic recently.

I begin to feel uneasy about it.

I discover I'm too introvert and have less friends.

I begin to blame my past, resent my present and do not appreciate my future.

Oh God, would you comfort me again?

Relationship

Somehow, I felt that in any relationship, to reach mutual understanding, each one have to ask the others' opinion before doing anything. For example, if 2 people are going out for lunch. A would ask B where about to have lunch, then together, they figure out what's best instead of A deciding the place without B's consent.

To know what is the best approach, each one must ask also. Like A want to talk to B about something. A would ask B, do you prefer me to write to you or talk directly to you? Of course, writing is a better way to avoid conflict because the reader can use his/her own perception to read it but on the other hand, the meaning might be twisted.

I am not sure if anyone agrees with me, this is my opinion. If I do have a chance of this kind, I will try it out. But I am not brave enough to create this opportunity.

Thank God for my 2 good friends who have always been caring and concern about me without me going to them as often to care about their lives. I hope God will lead this relationship and in all areas of relationship and my life. For I want God to be my leader, if not, who else can I put my trust in?

The Marketing of Evil

How Radicals, Elitists and Pseudo-Experts Sell Us Corruption Disguised as Freedom


If I have a chance, I would pick up this book and read it. I think it would be interesting!

most girls are straight until they're not. And then... sometimes they're gay 'til they're not.

May Your Spirit Come (恳求圣灵来)

JJVC 诗班演绎


懇求聖靈來，滲透我的全人
願你蓬勃的生機，澆灌我枯乾的心靈
懇求聖靈來，滋潤貧乏生命
願你熱切的愛，融化我冰冷的心

求你沛然降臨，求你充滿我心
讓我存謙卑的心，天天與你同行
求你塑我個性，求你馴我心意
讓我好憐憫公義，時時與你同行

懇求聖靈來，開啟我的眼睛
願你智慧的話語引導我進入真理
懇求聖靈來，勝過我的不義
願我甘心樂意，順服你時刻導引

求你沛然降臨，求你充滿我心
讓我存謙卑的心，天天與你同行
求你塑我個性，求你馴我心意
讓我好憐憫公義，時時與你同行
lyrics adapted from blog 山長水遠放牛羊 blog-post 懇求聖靈來

Courtship

Quoted from Understanding Marriage

Marriage is no place for pettish, peevish, selfish, self-centered folks to enter; but it is good soil for self-sacrifice, self-denial, and selflessness to grow and develop. True love will cause one to think more of what he can give than what he can get. Infatuation and physical attraction will work just the opposite, causing one to think more of what he can get than what he can give.

Floppy Disk Journal

Handmade writing journal made from 80s floppy disks.


Each journal includes approximately 80 acid-free pages.


Both the front and back cover are made from 5.25" floppy disks


[VAT19]

I cannot imagine if how cool it would be to have one of this during my meetings... imagine other people looking at me like this @.@, "What's that?!".

Test your color IQ

My Score

[FM 100 Hue Test]

User Friendly 404 Not Found

I want it the way I want it!

My company decided to visit Hong Kong for our company trip this year. I was happy to know that I can visit my friend in Hong Kong, which I've only got in touch with recently.

So, I send her a message in friendster saying that I'll be meeting her. She told me she might come to Malaysia during my trip. I told her I'd really wanna meet her there. On her second reply, she said, "When your schedule is fixed then only tell her, alright?" I felt I'm so selfish and childish.

Who am I to decide she has to meet me at that time? I'm just trying to force her to stay back and wait for me? I just want it the way I want it. How immature this is!

I have also realised that I never grow up after secondary school. During my schooling years, I'm so good, so considerate, so able to lead people but now, I'm just so childish.

Being child-like is what people admire, not childish.

Thank God for revealing this fact to me -- I haven't been behaving maturely.

Do you trust God

Be careful! If God isn't in what you are doing, you need to make a change.

Adapted: http://philtanks.multiply.com/journal/item/3/Trusting_Gods_Timing

USB 8GB Flash Drive Lighter

Wah~~~~[Think Geek]

If you know me, you would have known that I like to collect lighter. Even more impressive, this is a 8GB USB! I can bring it anywhere without being noticed that I like lighter...

Many people like to ask me why I bring a lighter with me. I just like to bring it anywhere. So that when someone needs fire, I can make them hot. akakaka...

My friend would think I need this.

This is one of the most impressive bags I think most of my friends would think I need one:

[Think Geek]

Why?

1. It has multiple compartments - suitable for ppl like me, never carry enough in the bag.
2. It looks small and nice even with so many things inside! - I just love it this way.
3. It's one of the most powerful gadgets you should wear at anytime anywhere!

Oh, come on, don't buy this as my birthday gift. This is insulting your capability of getting a better stuff, right?

So, erm... yes, I would like to have one... :-P

Think deeper...
Ok, I don't need it. Just like to have it. So, don't waste your money. Get me something else instead ya.

Best Picture to show how cold is the temperature!

Quiz found in the British Museum

Found in the British Museum Score: 17% (2 out of 12)

Most Impressive Birthday wishes Post!

I personally was impressed by this post: http://rachahwen.blogspot.com/2008/09/for-ngel-normal-0-false-false-false.html

This is a special way of saying Happy Birthday to Angel. The message was so clear and the love from the post was so direct!

I love this post a lot! Great creativity!

Love me pretty

I am pretty. Everyone talks to me.

I am pretty hot. Everyone looks at me.

I am pretty lost. Everyone helps me.

I am pretty needy. Everyone gives me.

I am pretty not. Everyone turns away from me.

There is only who never turn away... that is He who created and Love me from now til forever.

My IQ Test Results in Facebook!!

IQ Test
Not bad, I almost run out of time :-P

Spatial IQ Test

Classic IQ Test

I'm so average? I can't believe it.. hahaha

So, wanna prove you're intelligent, take the test :-P

Love

We seek love even from the beginning of our lives but never did we find the true love...

Trust . Believe . Faith

I had a brand new idea about trust. I recall when I was younger, I had a diary. I keep it secretly and wrote all my feelings in it. Some I'd share with other but some I wanted to keep it just to myself. One day, I found out that my mother was reading my diary, I lost trust and I kept the diary away, never a word is being written into it anymore...

So, I have learned that one cannot be trusted if one has too many secrets. My mother didn't trust me because I didn't tell her about myself. When she cares and she doesn't understand, of course she finds her way to understand her daughter. So, now I learn to inform my mother before I carry out a decision, discuss with her my point of view and we all learn how to praise each other in the process. Later, we built trust. Now, I think I'm ok with trust.

Trust I think is the fundamental of Believe and Faith. If you believe, you trust. If you have Faith, you believe and trust.

I may have believe in things but I have no faith. I have no faith.

I wonder how to train faith... so that I can become strong.. may be I shouldn't become strong but have faith will do...

Loyalty.

I thought I've been loyal to everyone and everything but didn't know that I'm therefore not loyal to myself. I've been trying to please too many and I'm not pleasing myself. Things doesn't change, but I did. I have so many things to tell yet so few to write.

I started to realise that the loyalty that I understand is now what it is... then I started to self-conflicting within my brain. They couldn't understand each other. You know, when we are thinking, our brain actually short circuit.

I'm in the middle of my work but I'm here blogging to please myself, not loyal to company but is to myself. However, I'm not loyal to my company for not being at work during working hours.

So, may be too many thoughts I put it together. I will one day try to clean up my brain closet.

Three Bullets [Quote]

THREE BULLETS

There once was a man who had nothing for his family to eat. He had an old rifle and three bullets. So, he decided that he would go out hunting and kill some wild game for dinner.

As he went down the road, he saw a rabbit. He shot at the rabbit and missed it. The rabbit ran away.

Then he saw a squirrel and fired a shot at the squirrel and missed it.

The squirrel disappeared into a hole in a cottonwood tree. As he went further, he saw a large wild 'Tom' turkey in the tree, but he had only one bullet remaining.

A voice spoke to him and said, 'Pray first, aim high and stay focused.'

However, at the same time, he saw a deer which was a better kill. He brought the gun down and aimed at the deer. But, then he saw a rattlesnake between his legs about to bite him, so he naturally brought the gun down further to shoot the rattlesnake.

Still, the voice said again to him, 'I said 'Pray, Aim high and Stay focused.'

So, the man decided to listen to God's voice. He prayed, then aimed the gun high up in the tree and shot the wild turkey. The bullet bounced off the turkey and killed the deer. The handle fell off the gun and hit the snake in the head and killed it.

And, when the gun had gone off, it knocked him into a pond. When he stood up to look around, he had fish in all his pockets, a dead deer and a turkey to eat for his family.

The snake (Satan) was dead simply because the man listened to God.

Moral of the story:

Pray first before you do anything, Aim and shoot high in your goals, and stay focused on God. Never let others discourage you concerning your past. The past is exactly that. 'the past.'

Live every day one day at a time and remember that only God knows our future and that He will not put you through any more than you can bear. Do not look to man for your blessings,

but look to the doors that only.

He has prepared in advance for you in your favor.

Wait, be still and patient: keep God first and everything else will follow.

The Fall of Man

Now I have a few questions:
1) God didn't officially tell Eve about the forbidden tree/fruit; who told her? Who is in this case, responsible to tell her?
Is it Adam?
My opinion is that, Adam is responsible to tell Eve, just like a Christian is responsible to share the Good News/Gospel to others in order for them to do the "RIGHT" thing.

2) Why did the Serpent only approach Eve? Why not Adam?
When I was writing this question, I thought I sounded like, "Hey God, why me?" didn't I?

These questions are interesting because, I don't know the answer and they some how linked together.
First, if Adam didn't tell Eve, Eve will be ignorant to the sin and will have sin.
Second, if Adam did tell Eve as God told him, Eve has no excuse but to make the right decision of not eating the fruit.
Three, if Adam had told Eve not exactly as God told him, Eve might misunderstood and eat the fruit and blame Adam. However, in this scenario, Eve blamed the Serpent. So, does it mean that Adam told Eve clearly and Eve actually knew what to do but still fail to persevere?

Well, if you would, please drop me a comment. Thanks.

what is your strength?

One day, I was preparing for next day's interview and wonder how people answer when the interviewer ask what is their strength. So I googled "what is my strength" and found this:

The Lord is my strength

I was Amazed by this powerful statement. This is far better than getting any other results!

Sometimes people ask me why do I believe in God, there you see, this is how my God, my Lord amazed me and He is my strength. I shall fear not for the Lord my God is my strength and I went for the interview confidently.

Fear not of anyone or anything for the the Lord your God is your strength. I will remember this forever because He is and will ever be.

Having a hard time to wake up in the morning?

Try to get this The butler alarm clock that says, “I’m so sorry to disturb you but it appears to be morning. Very
inconvenient, I agree . . . I believe it is the rotation of the earth
that is to blame.”

Muahahaha... you will never be late.

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Biometric Credit Card Security

Japanese look at fingers as credit cards

This is terrible. I'm foreseeing the new crime: finger cutting...

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God can make a bad day into a better one...

As I browse through blogs in blogger... I found this...
laughter gets me through the day.

Her profile: http://www.blogger.com/profile/09290147899103632963

I don't know if God does have anything to do with my life but definitely I believe, He turns my dull and distress day into a better day.

My brain was wandering the whole day... I was some how waiting for some phone calls don't know from who... Even if I switch it off, I'll keep my eye on it. Sounds foolish huh.

Well, that blog obviously gave me something:

i'm learning that as long as you know who you are and do what makes you happy, everything eventually will fall into place. proverbs 3:5-6.

yes the truth hurts, but don't you know a lie can break your heart?

and

Even the best
fall down sometimes.
Even the wrong word
sseem to rhyme.
Out of the
doubt that fills
my mind, I
somehow find you
and I collide.

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Unfair is fair

How unfair is this world? we said. But this is called fair.

We often think that we deserve better which is unfair but we thought it is fair.

We often get a better opportunity and missed it. It is unfair but it is fair because we are not prepared.

We always think that other people should treat us fair but this is unfair because they can treat you as fair as THEY think so.

So, is it fair or unfair?

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Joke of the Day from AskMen.com

Court Docket
A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. So she immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned to a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed even more amused. When, on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this... When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming,' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Slogan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident,' I just lost it."

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Is your computer effective?

Optimize your computer for peak performance

See this article by Microsoft to safe your computer from breakdowns.

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"Happy Birthday to You" is Copyrighted!!!

Discovery MythBusters

Ever wondered why some restaurants make up their own silly birthday songs for their staff to sing to patrons? It's so they don't have to pay royalties. Every time you celebrate someone's birthday at a restaurant or other public place, you are technically committing copyright infringement by singing "Happy Birthday to You" to the birthday girl or boy.



The tune was written by sisters Mildred and Patty Hill in 1893, and copyrighted in 1934 by their sister Jessica. Although the original copyright would have expired in 1991, two intervening acts of Congress have extended it through at least 2030. The song earns about $2 million per year in royalties — and would probably make a lot more if The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP) had a representative enforcing the copyright at restaurants.

Believe it or not when you sing this song to your friend, you are infringing the copyright.



On top of that, you are against the law every time you sing it in the original tune and lyrics.



So, you've sinned many many times ignorantly. Now can you say you never sin? Oh, definitely "NO"



hahahaha...

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Nokia N95 vs iPhone

"The better product doesn’t always win in the marketplace unfortunately."

A quote from this article: The better iPhone: Nokia N95?



What do you think? N95? iPhone?



Obviously N95 is more functional but iPhone is more "COOL" and cool is the key to most of the people who buys~



You say?

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Movie - Sad story

As technology advances, people are getting more and more shallow. More and more Gay Movies are coming out with new stars acting in the film. What's wrong with the world?



Yes, Gay are human, we are not suppose to reject them but nor they are suppose to be encouraged to do what so ever is deemed sinful nature.



I can only sigh, "God, please save them as their sinful nature blinded them."



Feeling sad for the people...



"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see." ~ Lyrics from Amazing Grace

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Movie - "The Reaping"

Does it ring you on anything by looking at the title?



At first I thought, 'Oh boy, another Horror movie?'. I had a second thought after seeing the synopsis. I thought it is pretty much of a some sort of "Christian" portray movie. Well, I decided to go for the trailer on the official website. I hope to review the movie to see if it is truly about Christian faith or it is just another "Da Vinci Code" that twisted God.



For I think if gossiping about people is wrong and bad, what about talking bad about God who is our creator and ever Holy and Truth.



If you think seeing is believing, you can really see God. How? Build a relationship with Him. It is just like you and another person will never meet unless you are at the same place for someday. So, no harm trying isn't it?



"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and Only Begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal live" ~ Holy Bible John 3:16



You'll never forget your experience with God~~~

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Free time...

Had been a long time since I last visited a blog which I will always do to sort of be updated about someone.



I've long lost the feeling of getting back to the blog and feel the life of another person at the other side of the world. I'm here, living my life out of it.



So even if I'm getting some time for myself, I wouldn't visit it. Even if I'm damn bored, I'm not going there. It makes me feel disgusting visiting. I don't know, I just don't feel quite right.



Gals are hard to understand, even myself, I find it quite difficult to comprehend. Do you get me?

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Life

Life's about money? Is that so?



Life's about love? Love just ain't enough to survive... rounds back to money...



Life's about faith? Faith doesn't earn you a cent... rounds back to basic...



Life's about war? War is just cruel to make you sick... no money no gun...



Life's about what?

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Keep your head

You know, I SMSed a friend two nights ago, and it came out failed after 24 hours. I don't know what to do now.



I was downloading this Mac OS X86 for a friend, and of course I'm likely to play with this piece of new discovery myself but when I started to think, I'm just so geek - not enough time to find out new things about computer technology and I'll even get aroused when I see the downloading speed is up and I'm nearer to the success of getting what I want in my own thoughts.



I just need to keep my head down so that I don't do stupid things again. But I'm not sure how. I'm not sure how to make things right. Is there any manual or something about life that I can follow step by step? I don't see how am I suppose to live without money, without water, without food. And foremost, what is all these for? What is all these about?



Sometimes when some friends questioned me when I said, 'accordingly, this is right', what are you based on to say it is right? It is so hard for me to say it's the Bible that I believe in. So how true is this Bible, they'll asked. What do you think I should say? Or should I just keep my head and smile back with not a word?



It's difficult for me to find any common ground especially in terms of trend of thoughts with someone who has a different religion (I'd use this word) as me. They think different from me. If I were to lower my ground to reach them, I fear if I'd be dragged along into the darkness of life. I don't wanna get someone who is so good and nice before we get so close and then only found out that we're not for each other and break up. This had happened before and it hurts so much that I couldn't say I'm ok now. I'm not. So, I wonder very much.



May be someday, the Bible will show me the right way to go upon with life, with my currently rotting life...

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Reward vs Bribe

Subject: Police gets RM100 reward if you bribe them.



The Police are smart, we must be smarter, spread this news around so that we don't get arrested for trying to bribe.





This is just a gimmick by police...they will tahan u...then ask to pay bribe RM30...then when u giv they will catch u for bribing them...after tht they get RM 100...see how business are done...



Newspapers a few days ago. They are raising rewards to police to RM100 for reporting bribes made to them. So if u think u can get away with a bribe of RM50 for a traffic offence, better think again.



Cash reward for cops who arrest anyone trying to bribe them KUALA LUMPUR: A cash reward of up to RM100 and a letter of commendation will be given to police personnel who arrest anyone who attempts to bribe them.



Acting Inspector-General of Police Datuk Musa Hassan said the reward would be for Traffic, Criminal Investigations Department and Narcotics Department police personnel. He added that the reward was to spur policemen to uphold the integrity of the force. "The reward offer is also to let our men know that we appreciate them for their honesty and loyalty. "We also hope to inculcate in our men that accepting bribes is a very serious offence and does not pay," he added. In Kuantan, Pahang police chief Datuk Ramli Yusuff said the cash reward would be double the bribe offered and up to a maximum of RM100. Ramli told Bernama that the reward would be paid after the person who offered the bribe had been charged and the case concluded in the courts. "I will personally hand over the reward to the police personnel concerned," he said, adding that the incentive would be paid from the Pahang Police Fund. Earlier, at the monthly parade held at state police headquarters, Ramli said L/Kpl B! akri Pandak Ahmad of the Kuantan traffic police was rewarded with RM100 last month for arresting a man who had offered him a RM50 bribe.

aren't they making themselves look like monkey or clown? Making fun of themselves in front of public! This is awful.



Since young we were taught to maintain our dignity. We were taught that studying is for own good and gifts are just an incentives of your hard work and should never be misunderstood that study is to get the reward. So by putting this as the foundation, isn't the police forces working the other way round? Making police force take no bribes for the reward?



What is happening? Let me point out what's wrong with the quote above. Although it is taken from a forward mail but I think if this is in fact the real case, our society has better look into the root of the problem and not just temporary cover the surface.



First, Reward = Appreciation (Honesty and Loyalty). Does honesty and loyalty count with money? Where is the dignity in police? The root problem of this is the unequipped serving heart.



Second, Bride = does NOT pay (either way they are getting the cash payment). So accepting bribe is getting money, reporting bribe gets the same as well. What if people are willing to pay higher bribes? Does that sounds to you that the police can ask for higher bribes? So does the rewarding system actually works because they have to wait until case close while bribery has immediate pay...



Well, I do not see the gist of implementing such reward system. One thing I want to say is the education system of Malaysia. If we train the next generation well and we ourselves are man of word, we do not need to worry about wrong doings happening. However, if we accept bribes ourselves, then there is no point saying other people are doing wrong. Just the same as queuing. If the father doesn't queue up, the son will not even if the father insist he does so. See, the truth lies beneath. It is the father who does and the son follows. Not the other way round.



I'd like to use one sentence to conclude my thoughts. The son sees what the father is doing and follow. Remember, the younger generation will follow your foot steps. If you want them to be good, change yourself first.

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God will not answer me...

I haven't been very good spiritually. I haven't worship Him.



Only when comes to trouble times, I turn to Him.



I said He is my God but I did not worship Him as He deserve.



He will not answer me for my needs because I disrespected Him.



I deserve nothing but He Loves me.



My heart is a stronghold of the evil one, my heart does not worship.



I'm condemn for what I did.



I'm sorry for the things I made.



Father, may you bless me with a soft heart.



To worship you wholeheartedly, to seek you wisely.



I want to be but I was in bondage.



Break me free, so that I hear you...

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Though I...

Though I work very hard to tell people how hard I work, I was undervalued because I didn't produce the expected outcome.

Though I sit very straight to maintain my position, I was treated like I purposely block the people behind.

Though I ask God to protect me, I underestimate him and overdo on myself.



Though I did a lot of good things, I was not as good in others' eyes.



Faithful God, can you help me to gain insights from all these doubts and disbelief?

Faithful God, help me to be faithful...



Though I doubt, though I wonder, I want to be happy and believing. Cherish by your love is the ultimate goal isn't it?

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[from The Dog's Name] Dating Style

http://thedogsname.blogspot.com/2007/01/dating-styles.html

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[from other bloggers]What price friendship

http://thedogsname.blogspot.com/2006/01/what-price-friendship.html

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Type of friends. Will you regret?

There are so called many types of friends.

Some you can pour out your inner self;

some you can only share the brain knowledge;

some you can only share the same exercise,

some you can go traveling;

some you can go fishing;

some you can really talk/chat hours after hours;

some you can only be listener;

some you can only hope for when you're rich;

...



and many more types of friend if you wanna label them or categorize them.



But in our relationships, we base everything on this little thing called "TRUST". Merely just a simple word that says both of you are related.



I've been struggling hard. Now I know how the Father feels when we, the children do not trust Him, the Almighty God. Heart broken and sad.



So, will you regret to lose some one as a friend?

If you lost a chat buddy, you can easily get one;

if you lost a busy body, you can still get one or might as well be one;

if you lost someone to your heart, man, I'm not God, I'd really feel deeply hurt and sad, don't you think this is what you'll say?



I lost someone dear to my heart once. We were friends, deeply connected friends. Some how our point of view changes, our relationship shaken. We talk no longer about other things than school work, we play no longer because we like to hang out together, we eat no longer because we wanna fellowship, but on top of all because we respect each other as human.



Some what, there are more reasons to hate one than to love one because we human beings are so sinful. Yet, God loves us all, we try our best to love and to unconditionally love but we're weaklings and will somehow fail some stage.



Well, doesn't matter, I guess. The reason we're on earth is to learn how to become a more comprehensive and better person.



Do not regret but evaluate and proceed.

I always remind myself with this and proceed on with the next level in life.



A quote from a friend from a song:

La tristesse durera toujours = the sadness will last forever



To SHARE is to CARE ~ care to share?



May our lives be better and brighter as tomorrow approaches...

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Programmer vs. Developer

Small ISVs(Independent Software Vendor): You need Developers, not Programmers



This article is using a small company as a context, suggesting relevant issues regarding the term programmer and developer.



It is very easy to understand and it really does clear my doubts on how people work (job scope of the position).



Nowadays, companies are hiring people with diverse knowledge and therefore, a more comprehensive person is preferred.



Now I see how the trainings, exposures, and trouble shooting skills of mine get me a job.



I would suggest anyone who is still reluctant, to start thinking about changing your working style. Seriously consider about the overall environment that affects the outcome of your work. You are working to achieve better outcome and not static content.



I hope people would one day all being able to live a life in it's full length and not limiting their ability!



Further: from HACKNOT: Developers are from Mars, Programmers are from Venus

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Friendship: Worth or Not?

Quoted from Ting Fang's Blog: “Friend comes in and out in my life, you are only one of my passenger.”



Friendship. I started to wonder...



Let's ponder... Is someone a friend when you cannot trust and share?



Do you or do you not hurt by your love ones? You're hurt by you family members and yet you cannot do anything but continue to love them. But friends, you get to choose.



I've heard some definitions about friend: "A person whom you would share your ups and downs." Doesn't that requires a minimum trust?



I think friendship is just a term we use to put on or label the people around us. As two people grow closer, they become friends but realistically they don't, they just become two persons. Living in different family, sharing different thoughts and never have same conclusion upon everything. Because we are still two.



My expectations on friends were high. I thought we at least share something in common. But now, I'd rather keep quite than say a lot. I'll say when it is necessary. Even if I possess the knowledge, I wouldn't care much to share as there is no solid reason for me to share.



I lose trust and faith in human being. May be that matters only to my relationship with God. So, the best thing to do is to keep quite. As long as I say nothing, share nothing, I'd be clean from other people's book of record and after that shall disappear and never appear again.



Anyway, thanks for being my friend since. Only true friends shine. In the end, please get me right, I'm just trying to tell you, don't play play. Friendship is like fire, if you get too near, you get burnt; if you stay too far, you freeze. But there is no measurement because it depends on whether the fire is huge or just a catch of it.



Happy Friendship-ing~

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Malaysian Animated Series! Syoknya!

Here comes Malaysian Animated Saladin~

Wow



Great! Gotta give them some support: http://www.saladin.tv/main.php



Trailer: "The wise men says, 'We do not choose our destiny, it chooses us'."

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3 days before school starts

Today after CRSM meeting, I came back to hostel. Met a girl on the same floor. We had a short chat. She's studying medicine in UM, living at the other side of the elevator. Pretty nice, nice chat. She said she admire people who studies computer or mathematics, which includes me! So nice!

Later I started to download bleach musics, then chat with a long lost friend. We exchanged interest on songs and she told me she wanted to cry. I said, do so, I'm with you.

As I started to develop a habit of reading online news, I read a short story from sinchew daily. It was about a decision of a girl. Who made a painful but right choice and had a happy life after all. Nice!

As I lift my head to look out of the window, I saw the bright and shinny moon. Superb! But now the cloud is starting to steal it from my sight.

Reread a newspaper article, saying we do not have enough reading and that's why our common knowledge is so poor. He, Lee Jia Tong, suggested us to read:
1) Classics/Literature
2) Critics/Discussions
3) Judgment and Detective Novels
4) Interesting Knowledgeable article

Decided to spend my long lost friend a Saturday of Karaoke. We'd been missing each other for long.

Oh, met U-Fish's girl friend Elynne?(not sure how to spell) or may be is Evonne? hahaha... doesn't matter. Had dinner with Max, Fay and her bf, U-Fish and his girl friend. Thanks U-Fish for sending me and Max back to hostel.

Oh, gotta work on CRSM harder for public presentation soon.

Preparing to face my new and final semester challenges! Yeah~

Babe

Found myself someone who loves me much, who treasures me much. May be it's the distance geographically that makes us able to see the goodness of the other. Yes, she is pretty and nice, especially loves me.

I will try very hard to treasure this friend. We'd been very well together for about 6 months and this is a new year. Let's start a fresh page this year. May God bless me with a good relationship this time.

So, I am someone's babe. She is my babe. Let's see this friendship shines. At least I want to make sure things doesn't go bad until we can't be friends. That was a sad case during my form 1 where I "broke up" with a friend. That was a very sad period.

God, help me. This time I need to be and take up the responsibility to become a good friend since she start to treasure me before I act, just like Wen. Other than repaying the good, help me to treat her sincerely.

May happiness be the promises that connects us. We promised each other to become happy. So we always send good things and good words.

Happiness may it be unto you from God. *wink*

Thank you card ~ My MileStone

I did a whole lot of thank you cards (which is really a lot to me who never did any cards for people). I spent 1 hour writing, and another hour cutting and pasting and finally done! But I left out Datuk... So sorry.

I thought about my pendrive backup in the office and wonder how to get it back...

Shall I ask LaiSeng? Shall I ask who to help me? Wonder...

However, just appreciate myself for being able to make 20 thank you cards, for my room mate and MyBiz family. They may not get it timely but doesn't matter. It's a thank you card right! hahahaha...

~Blessed New Year buddies~

What am I doing this late?

I'm repairing the fucking, sucking, stupid, idiotic Canon Bubble Jet Printer!!!

This is ruin my life. I spent 2 and half hours to check, double check and still don't know why the printer doesn't print!!!

This is so fucking pissed me off!!!

I'm now having black fingers and black legs and still I can't figure out what happened to the stupid "No response" printer!!!

If I'm so loaded, I'd throw the printer down from my window (at 8th floor)!!!

You stupid idiotic printer!!!

MyBiz Temporary Staff ~ MileStone Completed!

I've been in MyBiz Solution for about 3 months. Get to go join their company trip, get to know people around and most interesting thing is I finally got to see the smile of Sandra, our lady boss! Awesome! She is very descent and very nice and friendly but may be she has some sickness or pain in her hands that's why she always look worry and sorrow.

Anyway, to conclude my work, Yuk Wai, my CEO, my mentor as well as my referee, who took me seriously and trained me well, did my appraisal. There are questions which were tough like which is the largest Malaysian company that you'd like to work with? This is like *tu tu tu * because my GK (General Knowledge) is sooooo much so limited. So I went on to say Petronas and which is correct, the Malaysian largest company!

Well, he concluded that I performed as expected, shine in the culture of the company!

1) I tried very hard to speak up and build trust.
2) I tried to reach my personal best.
3) I was given opportunity to lead a small group (of 2 people).
4) I adapt well with the culture and given offer to work in the company as I graduate!

Wow! I just secured myself with a job! Awesome! Isn't that God's blessing to me? I believe it is. God is always taking care of me even though I sometimes rebelliously go away from Him because we human always tend to forget the goodness that we receive after a period of time.

So, however, I'd want to thank God for what he gave me, the support during my working period, the strength to sustain high pressure of balancing my work and my project (Final Year) and the ability to know Him better as He mold me into a useful clay.

I realise the weaknesses in me and try to improve. I love MyBiz and I want to make it better in the future if I'd really work there.

Regards to my colleagues, my boss, and their children who came once in a while. May God bless them, continue to prosper them in their life, help them to enjoy the world with Love and passion and May the Grace of God be upon them and save them for eternity.

Thank you God for everything you'd prepared for me to go through. Although I may not be as obedience but you'd took good care of me, and I want to really thank you and will try harder to be good and obedient. Love you.

Thanks Hui Wen who has always supported me.

Thanks Lai Seng who treated me dinner on my last day of work.

Thanks Toh, my leader, who also treated me on my second last day of work.

Thanks Catherine for being such a nice colleague and good companion at work and at play.

Thanks Chun Yi for all the preparations and hard work without any complains.

Thanks Steve for being a role model to me.

Thanks Yuk Wai for his recommendation.

Thanks Lina for entrusting me with a task.

Thanks Joop for giving me opportunity to work.

Thanks Han for letting me to share my point of view.

Thanks Zuri for being an accountant who calculates my pay.

Thanks Yee Mei for handling all the stuff in the company and deliver my pay cheque.

Thanks Sandra for being the lady boss who act as a descent lady.

Thanks Laili for giving me opportunity to handle critical and urgent tasks.

Thanks Noriza for supporting me in the work.

Thanks Loh for helping me in designing images.

Thanks Noel for reminding me about Christmas and entrusted me for last moment jobs.

Thanks Datuk (which I miss out the thank you card) for being there.

Thanks Sandra's driver for giving her support and that she can work best.

Thanks all the children who came over and share their smiles.

Thank you everyone!

You're a unique and awesome person as I believe God created each and everyone of us differently so that we can help each other and we can build each other.

I'd really consider to go back and work in MyBiz as the company gave me a freedom to fall, learn and grow!

Shouldn't you tried out to apply as a programmer? I think you should. You'll be changed and you will experience more than you've expected or think of!

Happy New Year Everyone, and blessed year!

Obsessive Love Disorder

My Disease: Obsessive Love Disorder, which is a destructive disorder.

Main reason: Obsessives experience a double bind situation: separation is very painful, while contact is very frightening.

This is very terrible.

Let me point you to the right direction for reference:
The symptoms: Psychotherapy Resource

The test: Love Addict

If you find yourself have the same problem like me, please go and see doctor as soon as possible or seek professional help.

diseased deceased

How I hope I'm diseased so that I can be cured.

If the disease is too critical then I'll be deceased.

But now... even not diseased, I'm deceased.

Come on let me sick... I wanna be cured.
It's not like cold, it's not like flu, it's not diarrhea, and it's not even fever. How to cure!!!

I'm having no disease!!!

No disease no doctor. No sick no cure! I... damn it! I don't wanna be deceased. Can I be diseased? Save me!

Be dead set is the excuse of being selfish (MSN Dec 18 Eng Ver)

My personality says, I do not give up easily on my relationships, however, unless the weight of the factual evidence convinces me to do so.
心里测验说：“我不容易放弃，尤其感情” - 只有足够的事实才能够让我了断。

So I ponder, it should be my own problem, others had done everything they can do and what am I hoping for?
所以我想，应该是我自己的问题啦，别人能做的都做了我还指望什么？

When you say I'm dead set, please find out whether the other party needs your intention. Or actually the relationship had gone to it's end, and you still don't wanna let go, does it worth the trouble?
当你说死心塌地的时候，请了解对方是不是需要你的用心。又或者感情早已结束，却还苦苦不放，你……这是何苦呢？

Embarrassing ME!!!

I've embarrassed myself in front of my team as well as our client!

Damn it. I was laughing for 30 mins at myself for making such a huge mistake!

The incident was...

I received a call at 6.30 19 Dec 2006 (*notice the date). It says, Michelle, there is a presentation on your work on 20th and 21st, can you contact D to see what's the update? I said, ok, will do and hang up. So I quickly contact D to check out the status. There goes...
D: Ya, we have a recruitment in The Curve on 20th, 21st can't get the venue. So can you bring your laptops and come and help out?
me: ok, I'll confirm with you whether we are going.

Then it was 7.30pm. Quickly get the team (3 ppl) online meeting. We came out with strategy and how to make sure the system works on 20th Dec 2006. We met up again at 10.30pm. SMS D and the reply was "......"

D: The event is 20th January 2007....

*fainted*

Then I started laughing at the embarrassing me, and told the team... finally we all get to rest.

Thanks Fay for keeping the good work of getting the solution!
Thanks Max for being excited and keep the good work as well.
Thanks to my mistake, everyone gets the excitement!

Well, Thanks everyone to make me embarrass again~ Now I remember how it feels to be embarrassed....

hahahahahaha......

laugh at me please... I'm so funny~

Do you wash your hand before you eat?

Do you wash your hand before you eat? I don't always do because it is not a habit.
Do you like something and try to get it? I do because I never do.

Isn't this template ugly? Tell me the truth~ I just like it to be ugly!

about homo...

Today I had a discussion with one of the colleague about this topic...

Gotta little SHORT (SOT) PLUG

Recently I've been missing quite a few things, such as my entertainment live, my window shopping live, my sports live, my walking life, and foremost my healthy life~

Phew~

First of all, I've been yapping about watching movie for the whole November because of the free ticket and realized that I do not even have time for it because of work.

Secondly, I was so caught up with work, I don't even go to gym or any kinds of sports. That makes me more "Sexy" after all.

Anyhow, it was also by means of "lack of window shopping". Well, as a matter of fact that I do not even have a little extra time for shopping, I don't even have no time to go window-ing...

So it ends up, my walking life is only (from hostel room to elevator, from elevator to hostel junction, from taxi stand to company elevator, from elevator to my desk, (from my desk to toilet)*,from my desk to elevator, from elevator to taxi stand, from hostel main entrance to my room)*.This is how it goes repeatedly everyday until now I don't even remember that today is already Friday.

aiya... just finish talking on skype.. let me continue...

You know, *No, I don't. Doesn't matter* I'm growing fatter, plumber, clumsier, and unhealthier... Rather than caring for my own life, I "jaga tepi kain orang". Ends up, of course is "padan muka" only lar...

Come on, my english is not yet good and I'm writing this whole crap like, oh no. I need to read more literature...

ok.. back to my days... today is Friday. Tonight is Friday night where everybody is busy with their entertainment and I was left alone wondering in this world of net. I so hope that there is someone here beside me, a gal, a fren, who can crap with me... I'm so alone...

well, I better get going, or else my unhealthier life will start eating up my life and my life will rot and smell... so beat it! C ya soon~

The Right way...

I ain't gonna miss the right way... but I ain't gonna make the right turn...

I love you

Ever heard of this?

I love you, whether or not, I love you. Trust me, I love you.

Can I not love you?

You ain't not loving me but I love you.

Why? you ask.

I love you with no reasons for I love you.

You wonder...

Trust me... but I just can't love you...

づ im .薇。

what do you think about this title?

Was used by someone in a chinese community that I visit.

I wonder can I use it... seems cool...hehehe


:p

Late Night with MyBiz

Hey guys, if you wonder where am I at this time, don't be surprised that I'm still in the office. Hahahaha...

I finish work around 11pm. Then wonder if there is anyone who can come and fetch me but no one.. So I decided to go 7-11 to get some food for dineSupp. I also discover that I do not have enough cash in my wallet to get more things... hahaha... just bought some bread in case I felt hungry.

So tonight is my first night staying over in MyBiz. Not cooling anymore because I add some food but now is better, warmer. Just now was freezing cold man.

I gotta get some sleep tonight. Tomorrow will be a fighting day again. Recently very busy with work so no time to really think about other things...

Sorry guys and gals if I neglected you all...
Wish you all the best...

Late Night in MyBiz...

Have I/you ever worry?

Have I ever let you worry? Yes.

Have you ever let me worry? Yes.

But...

Have you ever worry about me? No!
Have I ever worry about you? No!

The gadget that can read your mind

The Gadget that can read my mind?! Are you serious? Check this out (click on the image for product page)

[Original Image]
This is pretty scary but yet this is the most scarriest AI (Artificial Intelligence) That sounds so technically great!

By the way, play this online version of 20Q at 20q.net! It is suitable for all major language users and of all ages! Yo, give it a try!

I've been fooled!

Yesterday I went to PC Fair Dec 2006 in KLCC Convention Center. Somehow discovered a wireless plan that is so much so intereting. I thought, finally, I can own my own wireless broadband and get rid of my hostel's lame connection. So does it really mean it?

Visit Maxis Home Wireless Broadband Plan and also see section 5.3 of Maxis Fair Use Policy

Phew~ I was lucky to stay at 8th floor. According to the salesman, 7th floor and above normally is not considered for registration because of connectivity problem at high floor. So I may not be able to even register completely due to the condition. Registration is completed upon installation. *Phew~* I'm thankful to God.

I just somehow got an idea to ask my colleague and there he points out that Maxis policy is so limiting. 3GB of bandwidth per month, I don't think I can really survive with that. Although I may not need torrent or peer-to-peer sharing but I definitely would like to occupy the whole bandwidth with online TV!

Cheh! I was being a fool. "Where got so big frog jump around the street!" in cantonese - "bin you gam dai zek gap la chui gai tiu"

hahahaha... at least, I learned a lesson, don't get emotional when buying things. You'll regret... muahahahaha...

I bought a new pendrive 1GB Emtec (not sure if it worth the money RM56). Anyway, since I've already bought, I'll try to appreciate and value it properly.

Thanks. Thank God especially for giving a "living" way~

selection hearin'

We always listen to what we want to hear, don't we?

Japanese animation

I still like Japanese a lot a lot. Like their animation especially. Recently fond of Bleach.

Kuro = black
Saki = point
Ichigo = strawberry

Kurosaki Ichigo = black point strawberry???

What does that means?

byakuya = white => I like it.

erm... that's all for whole lots of it.

Michelle in Japanese is Miseru. hohoho.. I think I'm too into it~

The end of November 2006

Isn't this title sad?

Isn't I'm the saddess thing on earth?

ha, I'm feeling more and more obviously always begging for attention. I din't do well, didn't take good care of myself when I can, is just to beg for attention. Don't you think this is a little sad?

So wake me up when November ends...

INU YASHA = Female Dog Demon?!

Japanese Class Time~ bohahahaha...

oh.. I checked using Online English to Japanese to English Dictionary and discover something:

Inu = Dog
Yasha = Female Demon

so InuYasha = Bitch Demon?

muahahaha...

what?!

Can't sleep tonight due to the interesting story line of Bleach. I... I... I...

Was waiting for a reply.

Was wondering a good treat.

Was thinking about a person.

Was missing a person badly.

You... You... You...

I... I... I...

Can you feel me speechless...?

watashi wa wakanai. watashi wa baka desu. watashi...

When I miss someone can I call?
Will the person comfort me even if I call?

When I love something can I have it?
Will I have the ability to treasure it?

What shall I do then?

Go away from me. Leave me alone. Don't care about me as I do not care about you. My heart is miserable. I... You... aih~

Speechless nights, speechless months, speechless years... don't let me feel your care as I don't care about you. I forgot your birthday, I don't buy presents, I never call you... I... I... I...

What is to be said? I... I... I...

What the heck am I doing?

What the heck?
What the heck?
What the heck?

Recently I'm quite speechless. What I can say is "I... I... I..." "You... You... You..." "Aiyo... Aiyo... Aiyo..." "Speechless..."

What else? I'm turning into a quieter person, observant but emphasize on negative thoughts.

What happen?

You know, since I've mouth fight with my mom, I started to think that my mom is right and I'm wrong which past experience always proved it. So this time I'm going to limit myself from doing the wrong instead crushing my heart to follow my mom. I'd really had a good feeling about people but I dare not show it. I kept it to myself because I'm scared of building relationships with people.

I'm so afraid, I couldn't even find a friend who can spend me a night for movie. I've got this free movie ticket coupon from GSC but who is going to spend me a night? Shall I go alone? I think I will.

I can't even ...

Friendster TesTimonial ~

I misunderstood my friend misunderstood me...

hahaha.. the incident was that I told her to visit my friendster to check on my testimonial. Then She said, oh got testi... bye

Well, then I thought she was saying oh, you wrote one for me... {-_-)|||

So in the end, I quickly go and post a testi for her instead of working hard enough in the office... what a misunderstanding situation.

I thought I'd like to say something else that I felt from this incident. Recently getting closer with Wen. It is not a bad thing but I clearly know that when a relationship is getting to a next level, you'll have to explore more about a person, how he/she feels, how he/she behave,... Then you'll slowly recognize the person whom you've once known. You'll see a different area of the persons life. Then you wonder, how come I didn't even know him/her at all??

There comes to conflict situation, where you thought the person would think like that but as the result, NO. So you were disappointed and letting go of the relationship. So much so that a relationship that was built for good turns out bad.

Do you or do you not trying to build a relationship or just searching for the person that you can hang out with without putting in any effort and say, "Let it be~". Do you think everything turns out the way you wanted it to be? The answer is N.O. NO!!!

So try hard in a relationship, especially the one that you expected something but didn't turn out to be.

May God bless all relationships including mine.
That was my wish for this year... and the first challenge I face is my "ex-"best friend and Wen.

I hope, no, I will change myself to see things differently rather than wanting these important people in my life to suit me~

Adios, Amigos~

There goes the good bye, my friend~ but I still like the Chinese one 再见 (zai jian), 朋友(peng you) it sounds very much comforting because you'd like to meet each other another day.

So, peace be unto you, blessed the children of Christ the Saviour of this world. May you prosper as you grow and may life be no harm to your spiritual relationship with the Father nor the Son nor the Comforter.

Gambatte, go go go, jia you!!! *me too* hehehehe

Expensive CockTail~ Luxury spending

Can you believe? This cocktail cost $51,200 !!!
This is a little ridiculous to even sip it!!!

For more:
See Product Referer

Wen's Bday!

Wow, today is Wen's bday, I was so excited!!! Don't know why (0_o)?

However, today is also Tracy's mom's bday!!! Tracy is not in HK studying.. good gal, she called her mommy last night~ yo, mom's da best!

I wrote a friendster testi for wen.. which was out of misunderstanding... hahaha

Then I sang a few demos to wen for her bday present.. haven't think of any physical gift le... how?

However, I really really hope she got what her birthday wishes is and enjoy her day as I did for mine.

Everybody, Enjoy today for today is going to be history tomorrow! YO~

Shocking Birthday!!!

Was still in a shock of seing Rachel yesterday night celebrating my birthday! It wasn't like normal shocking. It was like a very steep roller coaster that makes me shocked deep into the heart!

I woke up this morning and the first thing to do is to SMS her. I was like still cannot accept the fact that the one I saw is her!! It is her!!! Oh no... I'm too over...

Well, I think I'm too shock to give her any surprise... that was my initial plan for her... oh no... but turns out to be who is the one kena the shock!

God is so funny~ man, He... He... He shocked me with Rachel's present. Come on, wake up~

Har (0_o)||| It's just a dream?! I was thinking like that the whole night.. even until now still like floating in the sea... feeling like I'm dreaming.. Now I know why people feel in love that time the world spins... hahaha... It's like me now.. everything around is not spinning but I felt like a dream~ Oh~ enough...

har... I wonder... can I give her any surprises in return? hmm...
hehehe... let me think of something bad first... so to shock her in return...

hahahaha.. I'm so happy~ *wink wink* so the happy... she celebrated my 23rd birthday came all the way from Penang!! That was really too much... too much...

May God bless her for giving me surprises and also bless Angel and Joelle who kept the secret and "helped" surprised me!!!

Too much... "I'm not drunk", "wake me up"....

Birthday Michelle ~ Dinner + Supper

Wah, tonight was the best night of my life. Was blindfolded and went into a car to Fondue House in Hartamas, then after finishing the dishes, was blindfolded again to Joelle's house~ syoknya!

Oh no, Angel read my blog and she said I really should be thinking seriously about her present... hahaha... oppss... my little secret was revealed... aiks...

Let's talk about dinner.. cheese, watermelon juice, cookies, fruits, breads, chicken, shrimp, fish, and chocolate, ice-cream... wow.. that was awesome.. they paid all my bills.. that was not good, I should have spent them since I got my first salary for October... aiya...

Supper... went to section 14 McDonalds sit until 2.30am.. walau.. they close at 3am.. hehehe... me, LaiSeng, Bernard and Joelle... 4 of us.. talk and talk and talk.. if the shop never close, I think we will continue to be there.. hahaha.. we've had so much to talk about...

Come on, all are a lot.. can't finish them all tonight. Updates will be going on tomolo.. gotta get some rest and blessed to those who bless me and especially to Angel (who prayed for the dinner and me), wen (who came all the way from Penang), Chin Ling (who remembers our last meet), Nancy (who brings me all the way blindfolded), Joelle (who bought the cake), LaiSeng (who spent the night), and last but not least Bernard Cheah (whom we had a lot in common and slept late and have us all waiting for him.. hahaha).

Enjoyed the night and the morning... blessed day and night...

Actually how I wish to have a nice dinner with all my friends, I got it, and how I hope to get surprises and I also got it, and how I wish to talk/chat for a good old times and I also got it... see how well God does it? Even before I wish, they were planning... oh no... I'm so out... better catch up... if not, I'll be off the bus when they take off... hahaha.. means that they get more and more mature and I'm still staying at the same old pace...

I will finish this present "Powerful Promises for Every Woman" this time. Promised and will not break it! Trust me~ I'm a brand new person!

Birthday Michelle ~ Lunch

Wow, just had my lunch with 7 friends. 8 of us went to Secret Recipe for a good meal. Got my Japanese Soba + ice bleded chocolate with whipped cream and desert - cholate banana!

Super Great!

Wanted to publicly thanks all my friends:
Kok lin~
Tony~
Jun Loong~
Xin Ya~
CK~
Wei Fei~
L@iSeng~

Yo~ thanks for the treat... I bet their wallet all slim down after the meal... sorry to their wallets.. :p

Well, liked the meal, because everyone is enjoying.. though Kok Lin didn't because he doesn't enjoy cheese and it happens that the dishes was mixed up with Tony's and he got the one with cheese... hahaha.. he ate with "tears" hahaha...

L@iSeng said Coffee Bean's cake is better... next time I shall call for that... hahaha.. but that would be next year today... whether I can wait til then, I'll have to keep fit from now on... hehehe

Tonight another treat.. wow... I'm so excited... first time going to celebrate my birthday in this way... I think what I've dreamt of is coming true... I've ever been dreaming about having meals with a few friends and enjoy the time... Quality time person ya... hehehe. So next time you know what to do lor...

umm... who else bday is near?
Oh, my dear wen(10), my little princess Maggie(14), and... who elses? Jeff (Elaine's bf 14/12) is near... wondering how are they...

Still owe Angel a present for this year... what should I give? hmm... though it's already 2 months plus late... I still remember I need to give her a present because she is a present person! Yeah~

wuwuwu... my wallet is crying... hahaha.. nvm lar.. one yr once only.. I suppose I'll get something for Angel~

Blessed lunch and bless those who blessed me in this day~ happy *wink*

My Birthday is Today~

Isn't this awesome?!

Today is my birthday. 23 years of life on earth. I should be grateful and thankful for all things that I have in my life. I should be happy for being able to breath. I should be stronger in handling things. Just because I've been through one whole year...

We always greet people during their birthday and expect them to be older and more mature in all aspects of life. But do they or do I? Am I more mature now? Am I achieving others expectations now?

hahaha.. not so true isn't it. We never grow old and become more mature. We grow mature because we learn, we fall and we stand up again. :)

What about you? What is your birthday wishes? This is the only day throughout the whole year that you will have a chance to voice out your wishes and get blessing for making it true when other people bless you. So what am I wishing for this year?

I wish... today is also a happy day for all... for the happiness that one has is not happy at all but when the happiness is shared by a group of people, that is real happiness because you can share.

I wish... I have a great figure and a face like Angels... hahaha...

I wish... I'll have girl friends who share interest with me... computer geek?! hahaha...

I wish... I can play basketball happily...

I wish... I can wear Air Jordan everyday...


I wish... I never had those wishes but wish for a mature heart and wisdom from God. For these things shall be added unto you when you seek Him. :)

I would like to thank people who'd shared my 23 years, things that'd been with me until today. From today onwards, I'll throw away all that I've accumulated for all these years and start a brand new day with a brand new "white" paper.

You, my friend, are those who pass by in my life. I may know you or I may not but I want to share my blessings with you. May your life be properous as you have known the true and only God. Emmanuel~

Nothing is impossible, impossible is nothing. For God says,"IMPOSSIBLE is I'M POSSIBLE" so what's so bad in life after all? Even HIV and cancer becomes so mild.

Blessed the nation that believes in Christ the saviour, king and GOD!

Marie France Bodyline Advertisment!!!

I saw this on YouTube.com... didn't know it was Marie France advert!!!


watch it your self! See it!

Xien~~~~

Wah, how come my eyes lid keep closing... oh no... what if I get caught sleeping in the office????

Cham lar... very heavy ... oh... this is getting smaller and smaller... no~~~

Who got any method to open or wake my eyes lid? They're so heavy... may be they need some exercise...

Yuki no Hana ~ Mika Nakashima

Song
Yuki no Hana ~ Mika Nakashima (watch it at youtube.com)




Fond of this Japanese song and the artist as well!

The end of story is the beginning of life

Quote

轻轻的暗恋 ~ 张小娴 一位正在念大学的小男生说，他爱上了一位女同学。

他早就认识她了，她长得很漂亮，每个男孩子都为她着迷，正因如此，他偏偏爱跟她抬杠，还故意周旋于其他女生之中，让她知道他对她没兴趣。

可是，这个学期，他跟她被编在同一个小组，朝夕相对，他终于情不自禁地爱上她。

爱上她之后，他愈来愈妒忌她身边的男孩子，他变得沉默寡言，经常刻意的回避她。他认为她不会爱上他，她喜欢被一大群男生喜欢，而不是一个。为了不使自己痛苦，他不会告诉她，他多么喜欢她。

小男生把原本准备寄给这个女孩子的情诗转送给我，再三哀求我不要嘲笑他，因为他已经很可怜了。

情诗虽好，原本却不是为我而写的，有什么好批评呢？

我从没收过男孩子送的情诗，我才可怜呢。

小男生此刻觉得痛苦，我只想告诉他，这份痛苦，经过岁月，会化作美丽的回忆，让人怀念。

有谁不曾为那暗恋而受苦？我们总以为那份痴情很重、很重，是世上最重的重量，有一天，摹然回首，我们才发现，它一直都是很轻、很轻的。

我们以为爱得很深、很深，来日岁月，会让你知道，它不过很浅、很浅。

最深和最重的爱，必须和时日一起成长。

亲爱的小男生，你一直也做得很好，你做得最对的，就是把情诗送了给我没有让她
看到。

If you know chinese, this is talking about during the process of secretly in love, you'd think that you love the person so much and so hard. But one day when you look back in time, you find that the love is actually so light and so shallow.

I've know a friend for long. 5 yrs ago we had our first song of 周杰伦 - 简单爱 (Jay Chow's "Simple Love"), then the second one after coming back from studying in Australia is 周杰伦 - 珊瑚海 (Jay Chow & Lara "Coral Sea"). That was like the end of 2005. Today, I would like to represent to dedicate 周杰伦 - 我背你走到最后 (Jay Chow's "I carry you and walk til the end") to someone my friend loves. Then I want to conclude our relantionship with this song:

周杰伦 - 退后
天空灰得像哭过 离开你以后 并没有更自由
酸酸的空气 嗅出我们的距离
一幕醉心的结局 像呼吸一般无法停息

抽屉泛黄的日记 榨干了回忆 那笑容是夏季
你我的过去 被算是真的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情 粗心的眼泪是多余

我知道你我都没有错 只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给了承诺 却被时间扑了空

我知道我们都没有错 只是放手会比较好过
最美的爱情 会给你带去

I also want to give my best blessing, to wish my friend the best of life.

End of dedication and song and history.
Story has to begin with a new book and a new page.

Getting on with my own life and bother less about other things that is going to defect my life. So after this may all the clouds open up and let the sun shine for the rainy day is over...

aiya ya...

Today and yesterday I've been working for 12hours... that was too much! I can bear hours of working but cannot bear hours of working with active mind and still actively thinking about it during my sleep.. I'm suffering from workaholic symptoms, perhaps... seems like if I don't work I'll die...

No time even for exercise, though weight is losing but body shape is still the clumsy look... I don't want to be like the actress in "Cinta Kolestrol" who was so big sized until couldn't fit in the chair in fine dining restaurant, so embarrassing. Imagine going with your boy friend and everyone is staring and then secretly laughing at you.. what do you think? How would your boy friend be able to bear this pressure?

You know why aiya ya... because aiya ya... I'm not well again.. hahaha
not physical, not mental but lifestyle...worse than ever... tired than ever...

Come on, can't I just stop work at a certain point and enjoy a bit life? What is enjoy life, btw? Who can share with me his/her view point?

Umm... currently got work, project (final thesis), home being broke in, mental pressure of love life, mental pressure of family life, mental pressure of...

wah, mentally ill me ... suddenly realise.

Why I always complain? Can't I just see things in a better way? Can't you?

Come on, admit it, you're just like me, no longer view things like the olden days and start complaining about life and don't care about others. Are you certainly better than me? When you think you are, you're not!

Who dares to say I'm perfect? Mind you, no one is perfect. When you say you are, your weakness is too confident. So what is your say?

Ah, there are some part I still can't change my mind like accepting my friends who got together and still hanging out with them like normal friends. I just don't get it.

And, have you ever felt that everything is so perfect and there comes the disaster... Perfect makes disaster... let me see if I can work this over..

Well, what a messy post again... life is messy, shit does not... so...